I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My liver just broke up with me...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
