New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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