There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
