hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
