I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like a drive thru vagina
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
