they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
