I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
A bitchslap is in order.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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