Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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