How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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