He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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