You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
