There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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