I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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