Do you still have your period?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
