i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
