They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
