We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
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