The beer is more important than you right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
