Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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