i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Randomize
