Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
