Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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