i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize