Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
