We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize