Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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