Having a random hookup so left but love u
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
