fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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