But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
