Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
