that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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