also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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