She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm really busy with my period
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