i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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