There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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