Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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