How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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