There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
