I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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