I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
