i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
