I must be too annoying 4 u.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
