aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
