all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
