so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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