How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
