He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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