Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize