I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
