Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
