Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
