I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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