he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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