I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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