Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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