this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize