We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
