Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize