I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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