Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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