we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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