i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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