Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
