I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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