But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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