I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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