I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
now i know why i became what i already was.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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