I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
