I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
