I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize