Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
