Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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