This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
