Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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