it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
