My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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