I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
