ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i think i just lost a toe
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
